What Our Writer-Bodies Store
And Where...
My third yoga and journaling session with Emily Schreter, Counselor, MSEd, LMHC, LPC, and Writer (The Consultation Room), gifted me with a new path to healing.
In my favorite Community for Writers, A Writing Room, Emily provides two continuing (non-yoga) series of workshops: Ask A Therapist, and Writers Wellness, in which she covers a host of topics specifically geared to the self-care and wellness of Writers. I cannot overstate how beneficial, and healing, these powerful workshops are.
This yoga session was extra-special. There were three of us in attendance: Emily, Karen Loucks Rinedollar and me.
In A Writing Room, we have many opportunities for collaboration: writing partners, small groups, beta readers, etc. To my GREAT fortune, I was paired with Karen Loucks Rinedollar Her positivity and enthusiasm, along with her writing and storytelling talent, make my life all-the-richer. I’m so grateful!
We began with 5-minutes of stream of consciousness journaling. Emily said to keep the pen moving across the page, jotting down anything that crossed our minds. My memory instantly delivered me into the back yard of our former home, where I first discovered this writing practice from reading Natalie Goldberg’s book Writing Down the Bones. That was the first time I learned that I could be truly free on the page. I could write anything that I wanted to. I learned that my thoughts mattered, that my writing mattered, because I matter (YOU matter too!). Those writing sessions were bliss as I relaxed in my lawn chair with notebook & pen in hand and two beloved Rottweilers at my side, relishing the cool grass beneath their bellies.
The dog “situation” is a bit different these days. My Pitti, and service dog, Ripple, believes with his whole heart that yoga, and writing in my notebook while laying on the floor, is an invitation to wrestle. 😅He has to, reluctantly, wait near me on the other side of a temporary gate. With Ripple secured (and disappointed, unfortunately), my mind returned to focus on Emily teaching us how to move energy through our bodies, using a variety of yoga poses with focus on the breath. She then asked us to write about the experience.
As an affirmation, I wrote, “Moving energy through my body releases stored emotions.”
The yogis say we store emotion in our bodies, even in our ankles. The hips store feelings, especially how we feel about safety and security.
My hip flexors are always tight. So is my hypervigilance and ability to overthink something to pieces. I now know that comes from the grief of losing my beloved Grandpa unexpectedly at age ten. I can remember everything about that day. I have been hypervigilant and an overthinker since – always trying to see around the next corner, worrying about what might go wrong, and focusing on how I might prevent bad things from happening. It is exhausting. I’m grateful that I understand it now. I am healing and learning new, healthier, ways of being. It is time to release the trauma of that day from my hips. Grandpa would want me to feel better by letting it go.
Continuing, I wrote, “My left hip, my sit-bone, has less feeling in it, a sort of numbness, a partial numbness. I’m curious about that. I can’t feel the mat as readily on that side.” No judgement. No needing to know the perfectly correct answer right that second. Just noticing, observing, and wondering.
Yoga and meditation are opening up space in my mind – room to notice and observe without judging or racing ahead to the next thing. I’ve noticed that I pause a bit longer before responding to things, instead of quickly reacting. It is becoming easier to be calm. My stress levels are dropping. My “smart” watch says so. 😁
As we breathe, we move energy through the places where we store emotion. We inhale new vitality. We exhale past pain; emotional and physical. Watch out, Hips! You’ll be feeling much better soon.
Letting go and surrendering is helpful to our writing. And our writing is helpful to others. What emotion or memory is stored in your body – and where? How would it feel to allow that discomfort or pain to ease up, even if only a tiny bit?
I so understand about the hypervigilance. It is exhausting to be "on" so much of the time. I'm happy for you that you have this new source of learning and support.
One of the most healing parts of my life. When I fall away for a few weeks I feel a debilitating lack that sends me right back to the mat.