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Bernadette Gomez's avatar

Your post unlocked something. that I had kept hidden for quite sometime, I felt betrayed by my body. A body that I took care of my adult life. Exercise, good food (notice I did not say healthy.Ha!), good habits. And yet, my body chose to betray me. And it seems to have done it again after years of rehab.

I haven't quit yet and I am constantly reevaluating what I could do to improve my relationship with my body and brain. Thankk you for your message.

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Jacque Stonehocker's avatar

Bernadette.

I am so glad this piece is helpful. Never, ever, give up! Ever.

💕💕💕You are so important and so is your writing!💕💕💕You are so wise to be open to reevaluating your relationship with your brain and body. That flexibility in your mindset will serve you well. I have been considering having a neuro-feedback evaluation done, and perhaps neuro-feedback therapy, depending on the results. Many insurances pay for it. I'll let you know. I'm always on the lookout for something that might help my brain.

Let's help each other walk out of hiding, out of the darkness, and into the light! Hugs! 🥰

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Kathleen Waltrip's avatar

Jacque this has been my struggle for a couple of years now and I have been trying to document the path in my Substack. Not always very well. When we make that leap to having a relationship with our bodies It is an eye opener and one we have so much influence over, even with health issues beyond our control. We still have control over how we treat ourselves. Thank you for sharing your journey and love our Writing Room community of support!

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Jacque Stonehocker's avatar

Kathleen,

You said it so perfectly!

"We still have control over how we treat ourselves." 💪💕

With your permission, I would like to use that quote in Silent Writing, with full attribution, of course.

Thank you so much! I'm putting a sticky note on my desk with that also.

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Kathleen Waltrip's avatar

Absolutely Jacque, I'm flattered. Maybe I need it on a sticky note to remind me when I wobble.

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Jacque Stonehocker's avatar

Great idea! I may do the same!

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Anu Morris's avatar

Love it, Jacque - We are what we eat :). And I echo the thoughts in other comments about Sugar :)

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Jacque Stonehocker's avatar

Anu,

Thank you. That simple statement sums up so much. We are, indeed, what we eat. 💕

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Wendy Carr's avatar

Such a helpful perspective. I long to find a sustainable mental (spiritual?) approach to my relationship with all things related to physical wellness. Since my diagnosis with MS (almost 5 years ago!) I have been in shock and survival mode - partly due to the timing of the bad news during the pandemic- writing is helping and I’m slowly, slowly finding my way back to some regular exercise. It’s so hard for me to battle the “what’s the point?” thoughts that come at me. I’m finding my way but the renewed way of thinking is going to have to be about very basic functional things- maintaining my ability to walk for example- and letting go of how I may wish I could look. It can’t be about the outside any longer, it has to be FOR ME - my strength, my independence, my longevity. I’m not there yet at all… just acknowledging what I’ve learned so far. Thanks for this piece, Jacque, and your tireless encouragement for those of us fortunate enough to be in your orbit.

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Jacque Stonehocker's avatar

Wendy,

You are 100% right. It truly is about the inside, along with all of the other inner work that we do as Writers. YOU are worth the effort. 💕THAT is the POINT. 🥰

As Kathleen Waltrip said, "We still have control over how we treat ourselves."

For me, it comes down to feeling good, having some energy, improved strength and balance, increasing flexibility, decreasing spasms, clearing out brain fog, keeping my ability to walk, drive, and maintain my independence. I am determined to live the best I possibly can. If I can do something today, to increase my odds for tomorrow, it is worth doing. 💪✍️🐈‍⬛

And we have to give ourselves grace, because that is a lot to think about when we have limited energy as it is (I almost typed energy reserves - HA! What are those?!) 😅

So far, the results I am seeing with yoga are surprising. I am gaining strength and flexibility with less effort than with weights and treadmills. My hubs and I just started going to a class at the gym and the instructor has started to do a meditation at the end as we cool down. It is MIND CANDY. It is BLISS. I cannot get enough of it and the way I feel.

Baby steps in self-care, as in writing, will take us a long way on our path. We've got this!!

MS Society UK has yoga for MS videos on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qsd0vEwXIqE). I'll be checking them out to maybe use at home on the days they don't have classes at the gym. I think the breathing and mindfulness, along with the movement are what is helping me so much. My mind is WAY calmer.

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Wendy Carr's avatar

I’ll check out those videos - thanks! I also have a Pilates bar for stretching that I’m starting to mess with- thinking the resistance may be easier to tolerate than weights. We shall see.

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Jacque Stonehocker's avatar

Cool! I'll be excited to hear how you like the Pilates bar!

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Karen Wesley's avatar

Hi Jacque! I like to think I treat my body to a little ice cream before bed most nights. I want to sign my body up for swim lessons. I think she would appreciate that. Thank you for making me think. 💭

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Jacque Stonehocker's avatar

Hi Karen,

I imagine she would appreciate that. Water has so many healing properties. A little ice cream, and a little swimming, sounds lovely!

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Wendy Hill Williams's avatar

Jacque, I love this! I love how you drew the similarity of your relationship with your body to a real human to human connection with your husband. Unfortunately, we are often kinder to others than we are to ourselves. Yes, treat yourself kindly, care for you, the beautiful being that you are, the living water, the miracle of life, the gift, the river. I so enjoyed being in the poetry class with you this evening. It was powerful and this post is powerful, too. Thank you.

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Jacque Stonehocker's avatar

Wendy,

That poem is so...I do not even have words for it yet. I do know that I will never forget it or fail to keep a copy of it nearby for rereading.

As Kathleen Waltrip said, "We still have control over how we treat ourselves."

May we treat ourselves with faithful care and kindness.

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Wendy Hill Williams's avatar

I am glad my words spoke to you just as yours did to me. You are a gift and I appreciate you very much. Thank you for your response. And yes, may we treat ourselves with faithful care and kindness. ❤️

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Anu Morris's avatar

So true :)

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Dee Allen-Kirkhouse's avatar

"I would never be as unkind, disloyal, and downright toxic in any other relationship. So, why this one?" My husband often asks me why I am so hard myself. I've been searching for an answer to that question for decades. Journaling and exercising seem the best ways to continue the process. If anything, AWR has taught us to re-evaluate our perspectives. Thank you for sharing your experience.

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Jacque Stonehocker's avatar

Dee,

You are on the right path with writing, sharing, exercising, and enjoying nature. Consider adding a heaping cup of grace and kindness for yourself to the recipe and you may be pleasantly surprised with the results. YOU are WORTH it. You deserve kindness and respect from everyone - including YOURSELF.

I hadn't thought about the ways that AWR has taught us to reconsider our thinking. That is so true! Wow! I have changed so much since joining and I'm loving it. Thank you!

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Julie A R Stephens (jules)'s avatar

Jacque!

So relatable – selfcare is everything. My husband & I take care of ourselves & each other with loving each other, healthy home cooking, walks with the dogs in the mountains, tai chi, watching master classes together, etc. – Our health & our relationships are everything…jules

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Jacque Stonehocker's avatar

Jules,

You are absolutely right and I am so happy for you that you've found what works well for you guys. Your list gives me some great ideas too. I swear, I almost need to set up a way to share healthy meal ideas, and self-care ideas, among all of us. The hardest thing that my Hubs and I do each day is answer the question, "What sounds good for lunch/dinner?" 😅I wonder if there's a way to set up a Sub-thread for that in my SubStack? 🤔

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Janet Jones Bann's avatar

Inspiring, Jacque!

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Jacque Stonehocker's avatar

Janet,

Thank you. It is a continual process of baby-steps for me. I'm glad to put one foot in front of the other on this journey. I appreciate your encouragement! 💕

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Karen Loucks Rinedollar's avatar

Wow- you hit the bullseye with this topic, Jacque! I think we have all had those Ooh Aah Point moments of the importance of self care. It is normal as a human to let one's guard down with those they feel safest with and that includes our bodies. Anyone who has ever woken up with a hangover knows or was frustrated with clothes that "must have been shrunk by the cleaners" what I'm talking about. Maybe we need a constant reminder, like our wedding rings, to keep us on track. Open to suggestions!

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Jacque Stonehocker's avatar

Karen,

Thank you! What a great idea! Something to remind us to stay on track with taking care of our bodies with faithful lovingkindness. I recently bought a custom-engraved ring that says, "Words due." Below that is a heartbeat image, like that of an EKG. It reminds me that writing is part of my heartbeat, part of my health and well-being. You have me thinking! 💕✍️

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Karen Loucks Rinedollar's avatar

Just don't get this program started until I finish my bowl of Garrett's Chicago mix popcorn (cheddar and caramel) that we flew home with yesterday... Okay, bowl is empty. We may begin!

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Jacque Stonehocker's avatar

😅🥳I'm so happy you enjoyed your trip and all the deliciousness involved. Life is meant to be lived! Okay- let's begin! 💪✍️💪

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Jenn Jones Nienaber's avatar

Agree! I take my body to workouts and long walks and through the water, but then I come home to sugar. And more sugar. Maybe a ring on my right hand… or a new bracelet?

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Jacque Stonehocker's avatar

Jenn,

A bracelet! Love that idea! In my comment to Karen, I wrote, "I recently bought a custom-engraved ring that says, "Words due." Below that is a heartbeat image, like that of an EKG. It reminds me that writing is part of my heartbeat, part of my health and well-being."

Hmmm...we have things to ponder! 🤔✍️💪

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Life is My Palette's avatar

Yes, Jacque! I have had a similar awakening to my body. For me, it is a long, slow awakening. I fight it. It is so crazy to me that the body that carries my life, I mean my spiritual life, is not regarded with more love and care. It has taken me a long time to wake up to how our medical system doesn't look at our bodies as spiritual and a divine gift. This is not about blame. This is about doing my part and opening my eyes and my heart to the truth that I am more than organs, bones, muscles and decorative sking covering. I am so glad Emily has helped you. She is precious to our writing group. May this beautiful awakening continue to unfold with so much love and grace. That is my wish for you and for all of us. Note: sugar is a struggle for me to, but negative and hopeless thinking is my greatest challenge. You are not alone.

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Jacque Stonehocker's avatar

Rebby,

Thank you! I have wondered the same thing. Why don't I treat my body with more love and care? And you are so right about doing our part. Perhaps that is what I am hoping to achieve through all that I am learning; to become at ease with, and dedicated to, doing my part. Not through trying to be perfect, or fighting my way through. But through surrender, acceptance, and LOVE.

As Kathleen Waltrip said, "We still have control over how we treat ourselves."

💕🥰 My wish for you is that you will treat your mind, your emotions, and your precious heart with the same care that you would with anyone and everyone in need.

YOU deserve to be on the receiving end of your kindness and empathy. 💕🥰

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