I love this, Jacque! As with most difficult practices, I believe truth-telling begins within. I love the concept of rigorous honesty. It takes discernment--and as you say, empathy--to practice this kind of honesty. I am learning that the more honest I am with myself, the easier it is to tell the truth to others. I wonder if two truths are seemingly contradictory, can they both exist at the same time? Historically (and in real-time!) we have witnessed how the quest for power and dominion omits, warps, and even obliterates the truth. The questions you raise in "What if?" are shedding more light on my on-going journey toward truth-telling. Thank you!
I apologize for taking eons to read comments! Ugh! So sorry! I agree 100% that truth-telling begins within. You raise such a great question - can two seemingly contradictory truths exist at the same time? That is one to ponder for sure! For me, I think it would require me to peel back layers, bit by bit, to get to my core values, to determine, for instance, is it a practical-type truth. Like something that has been scientifically proven? A fact. Or is it a core value or belief that I hold as deeply true, like to treat people with kindness and dignity being far more important than a line on a map, or who someone loves, or the color of one's skin. Great questions, Caitlin! Thank you!
No apology needed, Jacque! There is no time limit on reading/responding to comments. This kind of dialogue is what I love most about Substack. So many opportunities to read and ponder, ponder and read. I'm so happy you found my questions engaging.
A concept I know well and have practiced a great deal of my life. It clearly has a price tag.
It’s one’s perception of what’s said, its context and delivery; who’s delivering to whom and why. In other words, perspective. Whats the truth?
My response here is my opinion and perspective on life.
I love what @Caitlin Ellefson Spohrer wrote.
And for some people truth is when honesty is applied/stated about oneself from the lens of friends or family, it’s important to keep in mind their personal experiences too. As those experiences are filtered by their feelings. And not always the persons truth they’re directing their words to. We all have countless stories of these situations personally, many come to my mind.
We all process so differently it’s astounding we mostly all get along.
A person who is unable to cope with certain realities will have a more difficult time accepting what’s presented because they are more emotionally based, than factual. It’s my opinion many people are unable nor have a resilience to bare truths of any kind. And that’s okay.
Example: my mother was delusional she saw life through a distorted lens, that was her reality, I concluded at 7 years old, but was not my reality and I had to find a way of coping and raising myself. Obviously, it’s bigger than this sentence!
I believe there is truth based on facts and ALL its shades due to discernment, or lack thereof, and lenses by which we all see life, our feelings etc., it’s a multidimensional, multi faceted reality.
If we are able to not point fingers at and try to understand a blanket statement realizing it isn’t a comprehensive understanding of a situation/story/event, then we allow ourselves to listen wholly and question something in its entirety (talking rabbit hole dive) we may be able to understand it with better clarity than allowing ourselves to emotionally respond.
Mind you I see no right nor wrong in anyone. Just facts based on my reality and experiences. When I see someone’s reality and mine aren’t an energetic fit, I let go, move on and don’t personalize it. They will find their soul tribe.
I had a discussion which became a disagreement about water! Imagine!
They said, ‘water is water.’ While the element is the same I agree, ‘I said it’s not the same everywhere.’ Short version. They never spoke to me again.😆
It’s the most fun of living in the 3D world…. We are All multidimensional creatures, some more than others but it’s what makes the world go around.
@LeslieBeLeslie You bring up so many great points about truthfulness and the wide spectrum of it all. We truly are multidimensional creatures, with vast and varied life experiences. Rigorous honesty does, indeed, come with a price tag. The delivery of what our version of rigorous honesty entails is crucial. I love that you mentioned allowing ourselves to listen wholly. I believe if we approach life, and others, with curiosity and compassion, we are all better for it. Thank for weighing in!
Rigorous Empathy. I like the idea of this being a gate/guard that all rigorous honesty must pass through. But it does beg the question - empathy toward/ for whom? Rigorous empathy for some may call for unbridled rigorous honesty toward others. Must we always employ empathy if it will keep us from speaking the truth to power, for example? Powerful people have blind spots too - weaknesses, insecurities, limited capacity in some cases… but a stiff dose of cold hard truth might still be in order in some cases, especially on behalf of another. Great piece that will keep me thinking for quite some time. Love it. ❤️
Wendy, I'm so glad you brought up the question of when to employ rigorous empathy. A blind spot often seen in some leaders is a complete lack of empathy. You ask such an excellent question. Maybe it comes down to a hierarchy of sorts - a deep dive into our core beliefs and values - to help us determine for ourselves which truth is most important, and who to have the most empathy toward. In my opinion, you nailed it when you wrote, "Rigorous empathy for some may call for unbridled rigorous honesty toward others." I absolutely agree!
This line really resonated with me as I see all the lies and fabrications circulated by our very own government: “Whose truth would be the real truth…” I like the idea of rigorous empathy, but I find myself feeling challenged by the idea of being empathetic to those who are clearly misguided & lost in their own fabrications of the world. It’s something for me to work on. This piece has given me a lot to think about. Thank you!
Krista, thank you for sharing your thoughts! I love the way Wendy summarized that very conundrum when she wrote, "Rigorous empathy for some may call for unbridled rigorous honesty toward others." She nailed it, in my opinion, especially considering current events. My rigorous empathy will always be for those who are being treated unkindly. Always.
Yes, Jacque. Rigorous Empathy. Wouldn't it be interesting, and revealing, to do some word art around those two words? 💛
Oh yes! It sure would. Great idea!
I love this, Jacque! As with most difficult practices, I believe truth-telling begins within. I love the concept of rigorous honesty. It takes discernment--and as you say, empathy--to practice this kind of honesty. I am learning that the more honest I am with myself, the easier it is to tell the truth to others. I wonder if two truths are seemingly contradictory, can they both exist at the same time? Historically (and in real-time!) we have witnessed how the quest for power and dominion omits, warps, and even obliterates the truth. The questions you raise in "What if?" are shedding more light on my on-going journey toward truth-telling. Thank you!
I apologize for taking eons to read comments! Ugh! So sorry! I agree 100% that truth-telling begins within. You raise such a great question - can two seemingly contradictory truths exist at the same time? That is one to ponder for sure! For me, I think it would require me to peel back layers, bit by bit, to get to my core values, to determine, for instance, is it a practical-type truth. Like something that has been scientifically proven? A fact. Or is it a core value or belief that I hold as deeply true, like to treat people with kindness and dignity being far more important than a line on a map, or who someone loves, or the color of one's skin. Great questions, Caitlin! Thank you!
No apology needed, Jacque! There is no time limit on reading/responding to comments. This kind of dialogue is what I love most about Substack. So many opportunities to read and ponder, ponder and read. I'm so happy you found my questions engaging.
Jacque, Rigorous Honesty…. 😍 love this!
A concept I know well and have practiced a great deal of my life. It clearly has a price tag.
It’s one’s perception of what’s said, its context and delivery; who’s delivering to whom and why. In other words, perspective. Whats the truth?
My response here is my opinion and perspective on life.
I love what @Caitlin Ellefson Spohrer wrote.
And for some people truth is when honesty is applied/stated about oneself from the lens of friends or family, it’s important to keep in mind their personal experiences too. As those experiences are filtered by their feelings. And not always the persons truth they’re directing their words to. We all have countless stories of these situations personally, many come to my mind.
We all process so differently it’s astounding we mostly all get along.
A person who is unable to cope with certain realities will have a more difficult time accepting what’s presented because they are more emotionally based, than factual. It’s my opinion many people are unable nor have a resilience to bare truths of any kind. And that’s okay.
Example: my mother was delusional she saw life through a distorted lens, that was her reality, I concluded at 7 years old, but was not my reality and I had to find a way of coping and raising myself. Obviously, it’s bigger than this sentence!
I believe there is truth based on facts and ALL its shades due to discernment, or lack thereof, and lenses by which we all see life, our feelings etc., it’s a multidimensional, multi faceted reality.
If we are able to not point fingers at and try to understand a blanket statement realizing it isn’t a comprehensive understanding of a situation/story/event, then we allow ourselves to listen wholly and question something in its entirety (talking rabbit hole dive) we may be able to understand it with better clarity than allowing ourselves to emotionally respond.
Mind you I see no right nor wrong in anyone. Just facts based on my reality and experiences. When I see someone’s reality and mine aren’t an energetic fit, I let go, move on and don’t personalize it. They will find their soul tribe.
I had a discussion which became a disagreement about water! Imagine!
They said, ‘water is water.’ While the element is the same I agree, ‘I said it’s not the same everywhere.’ Short version. They never spoke to me again.😆
It’s the most fun of living in the 3D world…. We are All multidimensional creatures, some more than others but it’s what makes the world go around.
@LeslieBeLeslie You bring up so many great points about truthfulness and the wide spectrum of it all. We truly are multidimensional creatures, with vast and varied life experiences. Rigorous honesty does, indeed, come with a price tag. The delivery of what our version of rigorous honesty entails is crucial. I love that you mentioned allowing ourselves to listen wholly. I believe if we approach life, and others, with curiosity and compassion, we are all better for it. Thank for weighing in!
Rigorous Empathy. I like the idea of this being a gate/guard that all rigorous honesty must pass through. But it does beg the question - empathy toward/ for whom? Rigorous empathy for some may call for unbridled rigorous honesty toward others. Must we always employ empathy if it will keep us from speaking the truth to power, for example? Powerful people have blind spots too - weaknesses, insecurities, limited capacity in some cases… but a stiff dose of cold hard truth might still be in order in some cases, especially on behalf of another. Great piece that will keep me thinking for quite some time. Love it. ❤️
Wendy, I'm so glad you brought up the question of when to employ rigorous empathy. A blind spot often seen in some leaders is a complete lack of empathy. You ask such an excellent question. Maybe it comes down to a hierarchy of sorts - a deep dive into our core beliefs and values - to help us determine for ourselves which truth is most important, and who to have the most empathy toward. In my opinion, you nailed it when you wrote, "Rigorous empathy for some may call for unbridled rigorous honesty toward others." I absolutely agree!
This line really resonated with me as I see all the lies and fabrications circulated by our very own government: “Whose truth would be the real truth…” I like the idea of rigorous empathy, but I find myself feeling challenged by the idea of being empathetic to those who are clearly misguided & lost in their own fabrications of the world. It’s something for me to work on. This piece has given me a lot to think about. Thank you!
Krista, thank you for sharing your thoughts! I love the way Wendy summarized that very conundrum when she wrote, "Rigorous empathy for some may call for unbridled rigorous honesty toward others." She nailed it, in my opinion, especially considering current events. My rigorous empathy will always be for those who are being treated unkindly. Always.
Gosh, this piece is so good!!! Impactful! Thank you for sharing it!